I thought it was a good trait

I've always prided myself in finishing what I start. It took me 9 years to get my BS, but I did it. I spent years cross-stitching a Christmas stocking. It was hideous, and never used, but I finished the project. Lately I've realized finishing what I start isn't necessarily a good thing. I had lunch with Tracy a few weeks ago. She delivered the Girl Scout cookies I'd ordered. After lunch we opened a box of cookies. Tracy took two. I took two. We hugged, said good-bye, and got in our cars to head back to work. I dipped my hand into the box of cookies for just one more. Then one more. Then another. You get the idea. By the time I made it back to my home office, I'd eaten the entire box of cookies (well almost... Tracy ate two).

Lately my quest to make butter toffee peanuts has led to way too many taste tests. I buy cans of the peanuts so I can profile the flavor and texture. Of course I have to finish the can. Then I buy peanuts from Costco and experiment with each and every recipe I can find. Even when my attempts fail miserably, I still have to consume all the peanuts. Seriously, I do not know what is wrong with me. Something pulls me to the food. It's like I'm on auto-pilot. I know what I'm doing is not normal. I am not even enjoying what I'm eating, I'm just unable to stop.

Before today I never even felt full after the binge. Today I finally felt the full factor. And I am so excited. I made another batch of butter toffee peanuts. I used 1.25 cups of peanuts. They turned out pretty good. The best yet, actually. I ate some. I ate some more. I shared some with Bob (sharing is caring). Then I ate some more, until they were all gone. I felt miserable. My stomach was very full and bloated feeling. I didn't like that feeling. I'm going to try to hang on to that uncomfortable feeling and revisit it anytime I feel the urge to eat something I don't need.

My mission for the rest of April is to stop and think before each and every bite. It's time to get in touch with my hunger. If I'm not hungry, I'm not going to take another bite. I'm hoping that by the end of the month a habit will be formed and I will be a conscious eater. Someone who is aware of what her body needs, and the difference between that and what her mind wants.

What are some of the tools I'm going to use to help me establish this habit?

1. Rating my hunger on a scale of 1-5. I've never done this before. I'm going to try to stay at a 3. If I get to a 5 and am off the chart starving, that's no good. And, if I eat even though I'm full, that's not good either. So, I'm striving for a 3.
   
2. Put down the utensil after each and every bite. When the fork is down I'll rate my hunger and decide whether to pick up the fork again, or not.
3. Brush teeth, or chew gum after eating. I do this already, but not consistently. It really works. Nothing tastes good after you've brushed your teeth. So it's a good tactic. Chewing gum keeps my mouth busy. I find I don't think about food or eating if I'm chewing gum.

If you have any other ideas for me, let me know. Here's to taking control back!

Week one: Results

It's time for my weekly weigh-in results. And they aren't good. I did not lose any weight at all last week. On the bright side, I did not gain any either. I spent a large chunk of road trip time yesterday searching iTunes for a weight loss app. There are a lot of calorie trackers and weight loss diaries out there. A lot of hints and tips too. I realized I could install and use those tools all I want but the only way I am going to lose any weight is taking in fewer calories than I burn. It's up to me. I am the one and only thing standing in between myself and the ten pounds I've committed to lose. I'm in my own way! How did that happen? When did I become a roadblock?

This week I'm going to focus my energy on listening to my body. I'm going to stop, look, and listen before taking any action. I have a feeling I'm doing a lot of things out of habit.

Recommendation:
Erica gave a big thumbs up to Vitalicious Muffins. She buys the mixes versus having fresh muffins sent to her. They sastify her cravings for carbs and something sweet. I may have to give these a try during my PMS out of control hunger sugar binges.

The pleasure of food

I worked out today. I worked out hard. I was hot, sweaty, tired, and hungry when I finished my workout. I immediately went to my blender for my favorite smoothie. Pumpkin, banana, spinach, milk, tons of cinnamon, and vanilla protein powder. I inhaled my smoothie then sat at my desk wanting more. My mind wandered to all the other things I could eat. I had the hardest time focusing on work. I seriously wanted more food. Doing anything to not consume any more food, I checked my email. My inbox had the most timely information for me. It was from Joy Bauer. Here's what she wrote:

One of the most dangerous times for dieters is the period just after a meal or snack. There are two key reasons for this. The first is that eating is pleasurable, and it's human nature to want to continue doing things that give you pleasure. The second is that it takes about 20 minutes for your brain to tell your belly that you've eaten enough, which means that if you eat a meal or snack too quickly (which most of us do), chances are you'll keep going until it finally hits you that you're stuffed.

This is where the humble toothbrush comes in. Brushing your teeth immediately after eating prevents postmeal picking and nibbling because nothing tastes good mixed with toothpaste. Just think about it: mint-flavored peanuts, minty potato chips, mint and meatballs — ick.

She hit the nail on the head. My smoothie was pleasurable and I wanted more. I popped a piece of gum in my mouth, turned up the music, and started working. You know what? After 10 minutes I no longer needed more food. I got lost in my music and work.

I'm going to post it here for everyone to see. I want to lose 10 lbs. I want to stay fit and strong and work out, but I want to lose the rolls around my belly and the jiggly stuff on my hips. I need you to keep me honest and accountable.

Let's get started!

This blog has been a long time coming. I've talked about starting my own online community with some of you for years! So here's the deal... we all struggle with something or another.

We've all been down in the dumps and we've all been on cloud nine. This site is our place to gather and help each other. Here we'll pick our friends up from the dumps or help keep our friends on cloud nine. We're a community of real people with real problems and real friends.

I've set up this blog so that anyone can contribute to it. Not just comment on something I've written, but actually write something yourself. Write down your goals, your dreams, your thoughts. It's all welcome here... as long as it's nice and in the spirit to help one another.